The Oscar Dresses

The Oscars were last night, and a movie I absolutely hated, No Country for Old Men, won. All the other nominees were works of geniuses! Atonement, based off of a brilliant tradgedy romance, Juno, a heartwarming story with a fresh new face, and There Will Be Blood, which was amazing with Daniel Day Lewis. But noo, the gorey, violent movie where I probably would smile excactly once during got the award. Man.

More important then the winner (damn, damn, damn) was what the stars were wearing. This year they decided to match the carpet, which I noticed even before it was all over the internet that EVERYONE WORE RED. Miley Cyrus, Anne Hathaway, and this "Katherine Heigl" (who bore a strong resemblence to Marilyn Monroe). Hillary Swank wore an awful off-the shoulder black gown that looks a lot better when you cross your eyes and look at it from far away, and Cameron Diaz whent pink. Amy Adams was clad in a cute little gown that attracted about 0 attention, and Ellen Page looked impishly beautiful in simple black at a well-made up face.

Speaking of attracting 0 attention, Renee Zellweger (she who squints), stood out in a sparkly silver dress and some hideous heels. Other than the shoes, the dress was nice but a tad over-the-top.

Keri Russell also went over-the-top with that ridiculous necklace of hers. Next time, rein in the silver a bit. Those photographers don't wanna end up blind. Heidi Klum also went for big jewelry, with her very RED dress giveaway that the media clung to like flies. I'm actually relieved someone went to attract attention the right way, no matter how wacky a collar or big a skirt she had, since everyone else went either sparkly or safe. It was actually kind of pretty.

Nicole Kidman. Wow. What was up with that necklace? I made fun of Keri, but Nicole... what the heck? It might have looked better over a satin dress or possibly strapless (yeah, strapless), but it was still an overall wacky outfit.


Then there was Tilda Swinton (above), who went for a pale face to compliment her bright red hair and wore a giant velvet cloth over her body instead of a dress. Who is this woman, anyway, wearing that? Uggg. Good thing she's talented and entertaining, or she would have to hear from me for the rest of the week.

But Jennifer Garner was only second to Heidi with her black-dress glamour. I love the dress went with that skirt part, it really made the top seem less boring. A kiss to Jenny.

In: Juno, Red, Heidi Klum. Out: Tilda Swinton, Big Necklaces, No Country For Old Men.